I Manifested First Thing This Morning!

I Manifested First Thing This Morning!  Everything was uphill from there – and does that ever feel good!  Probably the last several years or so, when I’ve used the word manifested (or variable), it has been to point out that I am aware I haven’t manifested yet what I am saying I believe in or want to accomplish.  That all turns around today.

It’s pretty simple really, and yet it is not.  I’ve told two people very special to me in the last couple of days what I am about to tell you in this post.  If anything I’m talking about here today rings a chord with you at all, let me encourage you to find a way to relate it to yourself so that you can carry it around with you.  Saying that reminds me of a little phrase that has come to mean a great deal to me since I first learned about it just barely less than a half century ago:  recognize, relate, assimilate and use.  I haven’t thought about it consciously for a while so bear with me sharing what it means to me.  I make it a point to recognize myself in something I hear or read so I can then relate to it personally.  I take some time to assimilate (think in terms of digesting) it so I can and hopefully will use it.

Now, for me, my thinking about whether or not I am actually manifesting in my life, the way I want to be in my life, or not, has seemed to focus around my attempts to learn lessons from demonstrating being bipolar.  With that foundation laid, let me convey first what I have heard me tell both one of my sons and my best friend just in the last couple of days.  I had been saying that the two (more and more devastating) sets of episodes I’d had with bipolar since I was diagnosed had been when I’d been trying to make it through life without lithium.  Each of them (in separate times and places) then asked me (as everyone seems wont to do), “if I had learned I needed to always take my meds.”

Now the more astute among you will realize soon that I pretty much deflect that question with what I have to share but fear not, the lesson is very plain and clear that I have failed to prove myself amongst the miniscule minority in life who outgrow their need for taming chemicals ingested to fight the evil forces within.  (I am being just slightly facetious.)

What I then said (in effect, since I am not among those with a memory such as is now being played out in the TV drama, “Unforgettables”) was that not only was that important, but also I am really beginning to “take in” to my head and my inner being that “for my own dear self’s” benefit, I must take responsibility for the way I feel.

I’ve noticed (and there is a degree of aging as bipolar at play here, too, I think) more subtle aspects of the disorder when I am not in an episode.  Those aspects are nasty little buggers, which have been sapping my life a lot longer than I’ve been aware of.  I realized a couple weeks ago when I finally plowed into a Picasso type painting of horrendously piled high dishes that it wasn’t because of all the reasons I’d been telling myself that I hadn’t done it before, but rather I’d been vibrating at a level too low to “deal” with it.

I pretty much have to believe my ability to make showering one of my favorite daily musts (in my “off” seasons) has a degree of reliance on where I am vibrating at as well.  Those are simple examples and possibly you may have to be bipolar or suffer another mental illness to even believe them but they fit for me to be able to understand the concept.  My first manifestation today was a shower (much needed, much worth the “feel good”).  You may trust there are other manifestations to come – worth true excitement.  Stay tuned!